


the wee knee

by Milestogo56 (Pink_boxers_rainbow)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Hatake Kakashi is so Done, KNK Summer 2020 (Naruto), M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Soulmates, an attempt was made..., naruto learns about consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26026810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_boxers_rainbow/pseuds/Milestogo56
Summary: Cursed by a witch who wanted to 'mate' with him, Kakashi needs to find his 'soulmate' asap to...get  a certain 'thing' back in place.--or alternatively,Naruto steals a dick. Literally.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 69
Kudos: 230
Collections: KAKANARU SUMMER EVENTS





	1. he gets beat daily

**Author's Note:**

> i swear author is NOT on crack
> 
> light non-con at the start, nothing much but please beware.

Kakashi had a pretty clear image of all the adversities he would face in his life as a shinobi—It was to be filled with wounds, blood, corpses and agony. Being a well-rounded shinobi was not the hard part, but accepting one’s status as a delusional puppet was. He just hoped the good things he did will ultimately balance out with the bad—or maybe he did deserve to suffer.

However Kakashi never envisioned being kidnapped by a witch in heat who wanted to ‘mate’ with him.

“Ah…” the witch moaned frantically, hands moving up and down Kakashi’s muscled arms. “These arms will hold me…”

“I am afraid not, ma’am.” Kakashi tried to retort once she tore off his mask. It made him feel all sorts of insecure, but he tried to keep his ground.

“Ohh~ that voice, it’s making me so  _ sloppy _ .” Her voice was saccharine, a taste the man usually didn’t prefer. Visually, the witch had a nice body—scantily clad in a hakama—and a pale, yet attractive face. Unfortunately, her silken hair gave Kakashi the impression of the now- reoriented snake sanin. Which, EW.

“So, are you like, going to ignore that I am not interested?” Kakashi said, raising his eyebrow. On instinct, one of his eyes was still closed.

At this, the witch snarled. Her hands moved southwards until they reached Kakashi’s crotch, then she started vigorously rubbing his dented trousers. “Well, Wolf-boy your  _ pleasure tower  _ is saying otherwise…”

“That,” The jounin says neutrally. After all, he was once a celebrated member of anbu. “…Is not for  _ you _ , unfortunately. It’s because of your jutsu.”

“It’s not a jutsu wolf-boy,” The witch laughed. “It’s power of nature—”

With a thunderous sound the walls of the cave exploded. The witch screeched and moved away from Kakashi’s body, standing in a safer distance. Her whole body was trembling—either in fear or rage. Soon, four figures emerged from the dust cloud and Kakashi released a sigh.

“Kaka-sensei, are you okay?” Naruto’s voice echoed in the small space.

Kakashi was grateful that his hands were immediately released when the witch scrapped off of him, and quickly before anyone could notice he pulled on a second mask that he always carried with his uniform. “I am fine, Naruto.”

Sakura’s voice exclaimed from somewhere, “You! You’re the one who threw me in the mud bath.”

When the dust finally cleared everyone could see the scantily dressed, eerie looking women. She was breathing with difficulty. “All of you will pay. Especially  _ you _ , wolf-boy.”

Tenzou's hand moved to form a wood-jutsu seal, a thick bark erupted from under the witch trying to grasp her. Yet, surprising everyone, she walked free of the hold as if it were an apparition. 

  
“Fools, to think you can use nature against me…”  


“Sakura-chan…is…is that a ghost?” Naruto gulped. The witch kept laughing like a maniac while she walked backwards.

“I curse you, Hatake. This is the curse of the soil that built me.” Slowly, her entire being blended into the only steady wall of the cave. “Man, with their seed, you no longer be. Until and unless you bond with your intended, in body and soul.”

“Intended?” Sai questioned.

The woman's body was now barely visible, her face no longer pale but brown and cracked. "Nature intended someone for everyone. Now, you will understand my desperation.”

She was gone.

“Should we go after her?”

“It would be fruitless.” Kakashi finally said.

Sakura got to her knees. “Are you okay, Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi examined his lap then the faces of his teammates. They looked worried, except Sai whose eyes showed a curious glint. “I…”

“Please tell us what’s wrong, captain.” Tezou gently nudged.

“C’mon, Kaka-sensei please.” Kakashi lifted his head and looked straight into Naruto’s worried blue eyes. There was a high probability that he might just start crying in the tense atmosphere. Still, how was Kakashi going to tell them?

“I think,” he took in a deep breath. “I think my dick fell off.”

* * *

“Now,” Tsunade cleared her throat once Shizune was done placing the seals around her office. "You're telling me that somehow, Kakashi, got his… penis  _ detached _ ?" 

"There was a  _ witch _ !" Naruto whispered in a high voice.

Kakashi winced.

"Uh,um, Sensei's p-penis is uh. It.." Sakura stuttered around her words. Even being a high class medic nin didn't help her at all. "...inside my med bag." 

  
Kakashi winced, again. 

"Is this a prank? I don't believe any of you." Tsunade cocked an eyebrow, then. "Show me." 

"I would rather you  _ didn't… _ " Kakashi's voice trailed off. If he wasn't already prepeared to die then this was the perfect moment. 

"What did you say, brat?" the hokage hollered. "Not only did you get yourself kidnapped but now one of my most eligible political marriage candidate is dickless! How do you think I'm taking this news?" 

"Naruto-kun isn’t the only dickless one then," Sai quipped innocently. 

  
"Now is not the time," Tenzou scolded. 

  
Naruto, Kakashi noticed, was unusually quiet. His eyes were certainly downcast and the older man wondered if the whole scenario was disgusting. After all, as far as Kakashi knew, the newly appointed jounin was still in denial of his sexuality. 

"Hand me over the organ, Sakura." Tsuande ordered when everyone calmed down. 

"Uh," Sakura looked at Kakashi. "Can you…" 

Kakashi nodded. He opened her medic bag and careful, very very carefully took out his towel wrapped cock. Everyone waited with baited breath until he handed it over to the Hokage. 

"What is this," Tsunade asked neutrally once she opened the wrapping. 

"My dick." Kakashi answered, looking away at the open window.

"Why is it erect." 

"The woman said it was a spell."

"You're quite well endowed." Tsunade said again, but this time Kakashi could understand she was teasing. 

Tenzou had seen him naked, so it's not a surprise for him, but the rest of team acted like they were characters from icha icha. Sakura shielded her eyes dramatically, Sai looked morbidly curious and Naruto…

Naruto was weirdly transfixed. There's a high flush on his tan cheeks as he peeked over Kakashi's shoulder. 

All of this was so awkward. 

"Did it hurt?" 

"Huh?" 

"When your dick fell off?" 

Kakashi grimaced while answering. "No but…"

"But?" For some reason,Tsunade was massaging the tip of his permanent arousal. It's a medical procedure, Kakashi has heard of it and yet… 

"Can you please stop doing that? I know it looks like a sex toy." Kakashi confesses. "But I can still  _ feel _ what you're doing to it." 

Tsunade and Sakura's combined scream will haunt the old, battle-worn jounin for the rest of his life. 

* * *

  
  
  



	2. his neighbor is an ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM A LIAR BUT I WONT APOLOGIZE SORRY FOR THE DELAY

So you see, Naruto was pretty thick when it came to normal societal customs--he used to be that is. He is much more tactful now. 

Well. He hoped. 

But now, in this particular situation he really didn’t know how to act. Should he be laughing? Or cringing in disgust? Or should he ask all the invasive questions that have been lingering in his mind when Kakashi informed him of his dick’s status? 

To be honest he had perfectly planned the script, the jibes and maybe a cool nonchalance he would show once they were back in Konoha and yet…

When Kakashi-sensei took dick out (not in that way) and presented it to the baffled Hokage, Naruto couldn’t help the butterflies in his belly, couldn’t help flushing, couldn’t help not staring at the long appendage in awe. 

Now, when Naruto turned eighteen and his heady preoccupation with mysterious men turned out to be more, you know, sexual than just regular fantasy he asked Sakura to buy him gay porn. Sakura might have punched him a bit too hard after that but she also bought him a whole carton of CD.

Unfortunately, not many of them made him feel. So he went out to get hand on experience after all he was a kinetic learner--and he wanted to learn. And, fortunately, everyone wanted to bed the village hero. 

There were tall men, short men, non-men and even a few women who taught Naruto the in and out of sexual pleasure, made him understand his kinks and what not. It was a very gratifying experience but Naruto, being an idealist, wouldn’t go sleeping around anymore until and unless it was with someone who could take his tantrums. Or you know, were his type. 

(By that he means assholes who aren’t really assholes, mysterious and elusive marshmallows if you will—maybe even a bit like Sasuke, ya know…)

But, it was still a wonder (like Lady Marmalade from the pink tea house had said) where he picked it up from. 

His nineteenth birthday rolled around pretty soon, sooner than all other years but Naruto wasn’t complaining. His friends had gathered around in his newly furnished apartment to celebrate, Sakura spearheading the party afterwards. Even the older nins had paid him a visit and slowly, but surely his guest room was filled with snoring drunkards. Sakura, a little tipsy, helped him cleaning out the living room. And yet, he felt like something was missing. 

At precisely 10 someone knocked on the door. 

“Kaka-sensei, oh my god you’re so early!” Sakura’s voice boomed over the apartment. “You’re so irritating, oh my god, Naruto come over here before I get violent.” 

Naruto abandoned the paper plates and hurried towards the door, making it in time. Kakashi-sensei looked sheepish; he had his customary eye smile while Sakura grumbled. “Ah, Sensei! I was wondering who I was missing.”

“Whatever, sensei. You’re a party pop-poop-pa—” The young women stumbled. “Ugh, I am going home Naruto, I think I need to sleep.” 

“Be careful, Sakura-chan!” Naruto called out as she pushed past the older jounin. “I think she had a little too much to drink,” 

“Thanks for saving me, no wonder you’re my favorite student.” Kakashi sighed once he was safely inside. 

“Blah, you probably say that to all of us.” The young jounin snorted. “And, you’re so late!” 

“Maa, Maa…” Kakashi waved his hand. “I was just lost—”

“In the way of life, come on—”

“—while getting you a present.” 

Naruto blinked and felt butterflies inside his belly. “Really?” 

“Well,” The older man presented him with an orange parcel. 

Naruto tore the packaging like an untamed animal, and then…

“Figuring out your gender and sexuality 101…” he read softly, unable to comprehend. “Sensei, this is…”

“I am not trying to mock you or anything, Naruto.” Kakashi spoke nervously; he moved his hands to form a cross. “It occurred to me that you might be struggling with it for quite some time now, and I wasn’t assigned as you s-sex-ed teacher—which, thank heavens—so uh, I just wanted to. Well, I wanted to let you know that it’s okay.” 

“Oh, well.” Naruto blinked again, confused and grateful. 

“It’s written to be read easily, I had to scrounge a couple of book store for that.” The older jounin huffed, but Naruto knew he was just embarrassed. 

“Thank you, sensei. This really, really means a lot to me.” Naruto exclaimed with a beating heart. He didn’t understand why he had butterflies inside, maybe it’s the feeling of acceptance? 

“I am really bad at this,” Kakashi confesses. He brings one hand up to ruffle Naruto’s hair, and then it slides down to settle on his cheek. “What I want to say is that, I am always here to catch you if you fall.” 

_Oh_.

Oh no.

 ** _Oh fuck_**.

This—Naruto should’ve fucking known why his types were assholes who are not really assholes. Because when Naruto was an impressionable traumatized teenager who was the cool, mysterious dude who saw beyond his dumb-assery, and truly accepted him? 

And now that it’s glaringly clear, what he felt for Kakashi might not be entirely friendly, he—

“Naruto? Hey, you okay?” Sakura’s voice brought him back. 

“Y-yeah,” Naruto croaked out. “Was just thinking.” 

“Want to share it with the class?” Tsunade asked. She was leaning on the hospital bed, eyes menacingly narrowed. 

“Erm,” the blond scratched his cheek. “Maybe we can glue it on him…?” 

“If it was that easy I would’ve stitched them together, idiot.” The hokage muttered, “Scans came out normal, it’s like your penis is a summon.” 

“A penis summon? I wonder what it would do.” Sai says when he entered the room with Tenzou. They had been completing the mission reports back in the tower. 

“Nothing, it’s useless, just like you. You’re fucking useless.” The Hokage poked Kakashi’s forehead with each words with her scary, long nails. 

“Ow,” the older jounin squeaked. “You’re hurting my feelings.” 

Naruto but his lips, “Are you okay? You have been hard for quite some time now.” 

“I actually don’t feel that bad.” 

“Reports on your oxygen level are low, however.” Tsunade stated. “This could mean that if the Erection lasts longer than a few days you might suffer from permanent erectile dysfunction—or worse, death.” 

“Is there nothing we can do?” Sakura, who was diligently turning pages of her medical journal, asked. The hopelessness in her voice put Naruto on the edge. He stiffened before he heard captain Yamato. 

“Well, the witch did say about a cure. Do you guys remember?”

Naruto and Sakura blinked. Sai nodded. 

“Hokage-sama,” Yamato referred to the oldest in the room, giving up on the befuddled team. “ The witch did say that Senpai needs to find his intended if he wants to be a ‘man’ again.” 

“Tenzou,” Kakashi tried to whisper a warning. 

“I am just trying to help you.” Yamato shrugged. 

“His intended? Like, a spouse?” Tsunade inquired. 

“I believe the witch meant a soul mate.” Sai said. “She also said Kakashi-san needs to connect with his intended through mind and body…” 

“So, he needs to have sex with his soul-mate?” Tsunade nodded to the information. She then turned to the copy-nin, eyes narrowed. “Who’s your soul-mate?” 

Kakashi deflated under everybody’s stare. “I don’t know, and honestly? Don’t care.” 

“Sensei--”

“Don’t make me force this upon you, brat.” The hokage said very urgently. “I don’t want my top shinobi to die from a permanent erection.” 

“What would you have me do?” Kakashi challenged. “Stick my dick in random people to know who the fuck that intended is?” 

“Sensei—”

“Not now, Naruto.” Naruto stepped back once it was clear Tsunade wasn’t talking to them as a kin. “If it’s about your life then yes.”

“I can give you a list of people senpai was interested in.” Yamato quipped innocently. “I am sorry we have to do this, senpai.” 

“Why’s everyone suddenly interested in my sex life? Is nobody thinking how I am going to pee?” the older man grumbles.

“Uh, that’s true.” Naruto says, momentarily feeling like a philosopher. 

“Why don’t you go and try it?” the young medic asked. 

So, Kakashi stumbled towards the joint bathroom looking like a bitter old man as the rest of team 7 and the Hokage waited in silence. Naruto’s head was honestly very fuggy, each and every moment felt like a dream he was wading through. The situation seemed impossible but the slow laughter of Kurama inside his mindscape made him believe otherwise. 

_Damn it kit, I think now is your chance._

**My chance for what?**

_To grab your man, stupid._

**W-what?**

“How did it go, Kakashi?” 

Naruto whipped his head to look straight at the relaxed man who came out holding his towel wrapped dick like a newborn baby. 

“You can say it’s like wielding a small hose pipe.” Kakashi says cheekily. “I may have enjoyed it a bit too much.”

Everyone agreed that nobody needed to hear that.

* * *

Tsunade had to send a missive to all the Kages about Hatake’s Kakashi arranged matrimony, that Konoha was searching for a suitable partner for the great copy-nin and prospective Rokudaime. It took some time to convince Kakashi, of course, and before they knew there were over thirty five proposals in the span of thirty minute. 

You see, throughout the pandemonium Naruto was quietly seething. Nobody other kurama knew about Naruto’s romantic infatuation with Kakashi, he even refrained from informing this to Sakura. It was just a few months ago when he realized about his feelings, which was just a crush maybe but the more he delved into it the more he fell for the copy-nin. He believed—no, he absolutely knew there was some sort of connection between them. But, how was he going to convey this?

While the Hokage, Shizune and Sakura carefully filtered out the letters searching for one perfect person Naruto made up his mind to attack, the pep talk from the fox demon helped him immensely. 

“Can I talk you, in private?” 

Kakashi eyed him worriedly. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go outside?” 

When they were finally away from the tower, shushin-ed safely inside the forest atop the Hokage Mountain, Naruto turned his eyes determinately on his team leader. He moved fast, placing a smooth palm on the slightly taller man’s cheek. Naruto knew his face was flushed in a shade of deep red right now, body reacting violently to the thoughts of finally being able to confess, cock slowly filling up. 

“Uh, Naruto?” Kakashi sniffed, moving a tiny bit away. 

“Kakashi,” Naruto whispers. “Have sex with me.” 

Kakashi’s eyes felt like they would’ve bulged right out their sockets. “What,”

“I…I think I can help you solve this.” All the confidence he mustered up washed away slowly, leaving behind a boy who never got to make a choice. The blond took his hand back, eyes shifting. “You don’t have to stick it in anyone else, I am here.” 

“Oh god, Naruto.” The way Kakashi says his name was cathartic, like a prayer. He slumps down, back hitting a tree. “You don’t have to do this. You have already sacrificed so much for us, you have to—no, you need to create boundaries. People will walk all over your kindness like this.” 

“Huh,” Naruto blinked away the almost tears. “I didn’t—I am not pitying—”

“You’re not pitying me, I know, you’re just too kind to do that.” 

  
“So?”

“So what? I won’t do that to you.” Kakashi says strictly. “I won’t have sex with you; I don’t want to… jeopardize our dynamic. Besides, I don’t think you’re my soul-mate.” 

It took a while for the nail to hit the coffin, like water reaching the surface of a fall. “O-oh, so you think we aren’t…”

“I don’t know, Naruto.” The older man chuckled goodheartedly. “Aren’t you put off by the age difference? Seriously, I am not someone you would like to have as a partner.” 

“No,” He mumbled. “I think you’re pretty cool, Sensei.” 

“Maa, Maa…I am afraid Tsunade-sama has called for us.” 

Naruto hadn’t noticed the ANBU beside him and he was slightly scared that they might have heard everything. “Tsunade-sama has arranged an audience with the Damiyo’s grand-daughter, she is looking for your prompt presence regarding the situation.”

“Hai,” Kakashi says and the ANBU disappears. “Want to join me back?” 

“I’ll be there in a moment,” Naruto croaked out. Kakashi shrugged and then bounded off the mountain cliff. 

**Are you thinking what I am thinking?**

_Well, other than the wolf brat being stubborn, no. What are you thinking, kit?_

Naruto looked at the sun, dipping below the horizon each and every passing moment. “I need to seduce him.”

* * *

  
Well, Naruto swore, that was _supposed_ the plan. 

Stealing Kakashi’s dick wasn’t the plan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a liar ik i said its just two chapters but my birthday came up on 4th and it was just a weirdly bad day. happy 20th it wasn't great 
> 
> also borthday in advance cockoshi sensei
> 
> pls follow me on tumblr (eythefluff) or twitter (biskyoot) to talk or kill idk


	3. wenis the menace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really sorry about the late update. I was going through a lot and hut writers block. 
> 
> This chapter is a gift for Ash!   
> Sorry for the late gift, bb! 
> 
> And of course! Asuka who are kind enough to go through the smut writing process, pls read all of their works cause *chef's kiss*

At precisely six the morning Naruto adorned his expensive chakra charm that would hide his presence and walked the very short distance to Kakashi’s apartment. 

He had gotten a missive from Sakura just after returning home, a short note crisply stating that Naruto needs to be at the Hokage tower by 9 AM to greet the Fire country Daimyo's niece--the one Kakashi had begrudgingly agreed to meet. The news had made his belly burn, churning uncomfortably every now and then. It looked like he had literally no time. 

_ Time to fight with full offence.  _

Naruto had foolishly planned a long and slow process of seduction, that would've taken at least two days. After all, he hadn't anticipated the older man to give in so easily. And whatever people might say, Naruto was a clever fighter. So yes, he also had a risky backup plan. 

He took in a deep breath, then climbed the wall right below Kakashi's window. He gave a quick scan and noticed that the copynin's chakra was calm, or as calm as one could be with a semi permanent erection. The presence of the chakra was very dense just behind the window, which was Kakashi's bedroom. The man was still asleep after yesterday's fiasco then…

The newly appointed jounin quickly detoured, moving towards the wall that faced the bathroom. He had to think fast--he  _ had _ , afterall, planned to seduce the older jounin in the shower but just like the rest of his life nothing was easy. Maybe, he can wait? 

Scratch that, Naruto was too impatient. 

When his eye finally landed on the frosted glasses of the bathroom window, Naruto decided to look inside. Swiftly unhooking the panes he pushed his head through the small space, winding his body like a cat in search of food and immediately, as if it were Naruto’s destiny he saw the dainty organ twitching on the laundry basket. 

  
  


_ Kakashi’s penis was in the laundry basket.  _

  
  


Now, any normal, sane human being would be baffled and slightly put off by the image of a dick, a large one at that, leaking profusely  _ all by itself on a laundry basket. _ But Naruto wasn’t one of them and he had learned to never look at a gift horse in the mouth.

**_No_ ** , Kurama grumbled.

_ Yes.  _

* * *

Kakashi woke up with a jolt, hands frantically covering his crotch. 

Something was very  _ very  _ wrong. 

The clock on the wall said it was closer to seven, a couple of hours earlier than he actually planned to wake up, which was another reason for the discomfort. If he remembered correctly then he didn’t exactly dream anything frightening. And yet his senses were going haywire. 

Especially because…

No. 

He quickly discarded his bed and ran towards his bathroom, warm pleasure slowly creeping up his spine. It took Kakashi a lot more time than he would like to admit to notice his misplaced  _ item _ . 

“God Damn it,” He cursed, knuckle white from clenching the doorframe. 

The laundry basket was empty.

* * *

“Hey--oops, you look really haggled today.” 

“Sorry,” Kakashi replied absentmindedly, struggling to make sense of anything that’s occurring. The constant, deep seated pleasure and certain sparks of mind blowing bursts within his body wasn’t helping. Where was his penis? 

He jumped onto another roof, knowing very well he would have an early death if he didn’t get a hold of his organ. If nothing else, he would just have to permanently disappear from the village.The older jounin had asked his ninkens to spread out and immediately inform him if they smelled anything similar to, uh, his crotch. 

Amused by the peculiar request, Bisuke had happily asked if Kakashi was going into heat. The jounin replied with a smile, “No steaks for the whole month.” 

  
  


“My esteemed rival!” 

_ God, please show mercy _ . “Not now, Gai!” 

“Why not?” The man in green spandex asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “I head that the fire of youth has finally forced you to settle down, is that true, my dear friend?” 

“I said not  _ now _ ,” Kakashi groaned, still running a few steps ahead of the man who had unknowingly joined the penis chase. 

  
  


“Ah, of course, I understand.The fire is urgent inside of you, the youth has finally kicked in. I hope you’re gentle to your bride, Kakashi!” The man continued to yell and followed, more interested in the life of his rival. Gai had noticed an unnatural redness on the other jounin but put it aside as excitement. “Will you not tell me about your bride?” 

“There is no bride, Gai.” Kakashi was surprised to discover his whole body shivering at the intensity of the sudden, extra terrestrial pleasure and almost slammed into a light post. “Gai, I just. Can you call Sakura for me?” 

“My friend, my friend,” Gai said placatingly, hands gently shaking Kakashi’s shoulders. “I completely understand! Sometimes it’s  _ up _ and  _ down _ . Sometimes it’s a little  _ hard _ , your  _ life _ , especially is a  _ mouthful _ \--”

  
  


“Are you--” Kakashi moved out from Gai’s grasp, “Are you talking about sex? Because, It’s seriously not about that.”  _ Most of it, anyway _ .

The green beast slapped Kakashi’s chest lightly, “Do not lie to me, rival. It’s on your face, your body--the heat of youth catching up on a poor old soul...But fear not! It’s glorious, a moment of celebration! Do not--Kakashi?!”

Suddenly, time stopped. Kakashi’s vision stretched out as if he were being pulled into another dimension. First his legs were numb, then his stomach hit the floor, his heart got colder--churning out a painful scream from the older jounin and then--

He was under Naruto. 

Scratch that. 

_ Naruto was riding him. _

“Uh…fuck?”

  
  


“H-...Hi, sensei?” Naruto groaned out, surprised and yet dazed.

* * *

"Care to tell me what's going on?"

Naruto's face was flushed, red like a ripe cherry. His lips bitten and glossy while his body was barely staying still. The younger man was high on pleasure, too high to even grind out the details. "Fuck,you're so...big."

Kakashi curled his feet, trying to suppress an oncoming moan. “Naruto, did you steal my dick?” 

Conked out, the younger man just grinded his hips harder. Moments ago, Kakashi was very much near an orgasm but the spasm of time and space, and the summoning of his body, left a painful residue. He was still aroused, and clearly liked what Naruto was doing but--it was weird. 

“Naruto--hey, look here?” Kakashi tried again, this time clutching the younger man’s face to bring him out. “Please get off.” 

  
  


“Hnng,” Naruto groaned instead, head hitting Kakashi’s collarbone. “You...feel so real, please.” 

  
  


Kakashi felt his heart quiver slightly. He didn’t understand why and it preferably wasn’t the time. Trust Naruto to do something this stupid and kind at the same time. He sighed bringing his hands down to grasp the younger man’s hips, pushing slightly at first. “Come on, we need...we need to talk.” 

  
  


Naruto didn’t give any indication of understanding the older man. Instead, he continued to appear drugged and slightly helpless--this was giving Kakashi a very strange vibe, awakening a worry and emotion he hasn't felt in a while. “Naruto?” Was the boy okay? 

He quickly sat up, almost ripping off his dick from the other man. When Naruto still didn’t reply, Kakashi gently laid him down on the bed and pulled out--which shouldn’t be painful, if previous experiences were anything to go by, but it definitely felt like a bee had stung his ding dong.

  
  


“Damn,” Kakashi sweated, one hand still caressing Naruto’s quivering body. “I-I am going to call Sakura, okay?” 

“No!” Naruto’s voice was rough but when he opened his eyes they were no longer a pale shade of blue. “Kakashi...please?”

  
  


Kakashi’s heart dropped. “Did I hurt you?” 

“It’s not that.” Naruto gave a watery laugh. “You’re real?” 

“Yes.” Kakashi answered, tilting his head. “Why did you...steal my penis?” 

Naruto didn’t answer for a long while, making the older man wonder if his question was heard. But then the blond jinchuriki took a shivering breath, body still red and weak. “I don’t know.” 

  
  


It wasn’t the answer Kakashi expected. He sighed, making a disappointed face. “Maa, I thought I made it clear to you that consent is the most important factor when it comes to sex.” 

  
“You did, yes.” Naruto nodded, rubbing his eyes. “I am, I didn’t...I am sorry. I wasn’t there to steal your dick.” 

  
  


“Well, your intention doesn’t matter here but your action does.” Kakashi said, gently, “What if I am already engaged with someone? What if I am not into men? And it matters, Naruto, because just like I respected you wish to chase Sasuke you should respect mine too. Would you like it if someone forced you even if you didn’t want to?” 

“That would be assault...right?” Naruto was very close to bursting out now. “Oh my god, I  _ raped  _ your penis.” 

Kakashi winced, “I have forgiven you, but don’t do this in the future okay?” 

“I have never--in my life--I have never--” He was crying now, barely making sense. “I wasn’t thinking, Sensei, I didn’t even--It was like, I was drugged but I  _ wasn’t _ .” 

  
  


The older jounin patted Naruto awkwardly. He felt bad about making the man cry, and it was hurting him too much--the way Naruto clutched his hand, head hanging, body shaking for all the wrong reasons. He was dressed, while the young man, who was once his  _ genin _ , was still vulnerably naked. His skin was  _ still _ , a delicious shade of tanned red (which the older jounin shouldn’t notice) and why wasn’t Kakashi freaking out? 

“..ut it doesn’t matter, right? We-We are soulmates.” 

Kakashi had tuned out the babble but caught the last sentence and froze. “What?” 

“We are soulmates,” Naruto repeated, watery eyes blinking away the confusion. “...Didn’t you notice? Your cock got reattached.” 

Slowly, Kakashi looked down at his penis. It was painfully red, almost purple now and standing proudly regardless of the situation, a dollop of thick cum continuously sliding down.  _ Also _ , it was no longer detached. “Um,” 

  
  


“I knew it,” the younger man huffed. “All these time I kept it under--”

  
  


“Wait,  _ wait _ .” Kakashi begged, face going pale. “I don’t think this is right. Naruto...there must be something wrong.” 

  
  


Naruto blinked. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, we can’t be...soulmates. I don’t think I have any,” Kakashi rambled further. “Besides, I still have my erection. Right? So maybe we are not s-soul mates? Maybe it's all a coincidence…”

  
  


“Sensei--”

  
  


“It would just be too cruel, if I was, you know.” 

  
  


“Look at me--” 

  
  


“I think we need to go visit the hokage, she will know--”

  
  


“Kakashi!” The older jounin finally snapped out, realizing very late that Naruto had successfully removed his mask. 

“What is it?” Naruto asked gently, blue eyes imploring but not invasive.

“I-” Kakashi looked away. “I don’t think it’s right, you shouldn't...You’re too young and too bright. I am, I am  _ nothing _ . Naruto, don’t you see?” 

  
  


“I don’t see that.” The younger man got a hold of his shaking hands, leaning into his space. “All I see is a man who’s loyal to a fault, a self sacrificing bastard, a man who is a bit weird but hey, I like it--”

“Naruto…”

“--a man whose hands were the kindest to me, a man whom...I fell in love with.” 

Kakashi blinked. His dick throbbed.

“What?” Naruto flushed, crossing his arms. “Say something! This is not how I imagined the confession going ‘ttebayo…”

  
  


“...What am I supposed to say?” Kakashi grumbled. His face was longer pale but a bright shade of pink. “Maa, Naruto. You could’ve just said it to me instead of stealing my dick.” 

“Shaddup,” The jinchuriki tried but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Now...onto your other problem,” 

“Wait, this is not resolved either-- _ god _ .” Kakashi hissed through his teeth when warm hands wrapped around his girth. 

“I think, personally, you need to relax and let go.” Naruto hummed, eyes down on Kakashi’s lap. He licked his lips, revealing small canines which immediately jolted the older jounin. 

“You...know…” Kakashi tried to grab around the words but couldn’t with Naruto’s ministrations. “How…?” 

A beautiful laugh bubbled out of the blond man. “What, you thought I was ignorant about all these?” 

Kakashi didn’t reply. He watched, transfixed, as smaller tanned hands moved in a slow rhythm, applying slight bursts of chakra here and there. It seemed like Kakashi was mistaken about Naruto, and just like that, the hands disappeared. 

“Shh,” Naruto’s voice whispered into his ears. “Let me take care of you.” 

And.

What can Kakashi do except surrender?

Soon, he didn’t understand how, his shirt was off and Naruto was there again--cheeks flushed, eyes glazed--mouthing softly at his collarbones. He licks and tongues each and every dent, kisses the scar like he is worshipping the man’s old frail body and all Kakashi can do is whine; the wolf inside trying to jump out of his skin and take control. 

Naruto is slow, and so very different from what Kakashi might have imagined in bed. Which is another can of worm, if you ask him, but right now with each and every conscious thought leaking out of his ears, it didn’t matter. What did matter, was that Naruto needs to stop playing with his thighs or he might just...just…”Please,” 

“Mmh,” Naruto moaned, biting into supple flesh. “Wanna fuck me?” 

“Nnh,” was all he could manage. 

“Come on,” the younger man took a hold of his cock, pressing it tightly, almost painfully “Tell me,  _ sensei _ .” 

“Y-Yes, fuck.” Kakashi whined out. “I wanna fuck your ass, I want to--please,” 

“You want this ass?” Naruto giggled, boyish. “Come and get it--anf!”

Naruto had barely finished before Kakashi was onto him, pushing him flat onto the mattress. He breathed with difficulty as blue eyes searched his own, amusement and adoration clearly floating in them. “Are you sure…?” 

  
  


And. 

All Naruto could do was maneuver his neck, pushing his lips into Kakashi’s chapped ones. The older softened his hold, breath hitching a little more, but quickly gave in as warm tongue pushed apart his lips. There was electricity behind his eyelids, a whole unexplored universe when their wet appendages met and just like that Kakashi was  _ comfortable _ . 

When they parted, a thin bridge of saliva between them, Kakashi was smiling. Naruto’s blissed out face was mesmerizing and Kakashi, unconsciously, hoped to see it everyday. 

“You look so cute when you smile,” Naruto’s voice cracked. 

Kakashi hid his flushed face, preferring to nibble on tanned ears. His hands, which were wrapped around Naruto’s body, rode down his belly, to which the younger man shivered. He tried to be gentle, but it's hard when he was half delirious with arousal and an itchy need. Kakashi had always been a precise man, and even high strung on pleasure he had never gone feral. This was something different, something way more animalistic than he would like to admit. 

Throughout the ordeal Naruto kept talking to him, telling how good he was, how wanted he was and how much  _ I love you _ . It's too much and yet not, it's too warm and yet cold. Kakashi growled when his fingers finally touched the wrinkling, warm skin--still gaping and lubed from their earlier meeting. 

“It's okay, It's okay.” Naruto’s babble was a stream of nonsense now. He appeared as much affected as Kakashi was. “Put it in, fill me up, come one, Kakashi, please. I’m ready, fill it--”

He felt drugged,a fog appeared in front of eyes and soon, way too soon, he was halfway inside Naruto’s ass. His cock, which was erect since

yesterday, vibrated as an unnatural amount of semen flowed down. It didn’t phase kakashi, instead egged him on to continue. Oh, how he wished the sharingan was still there…

“Mine, Mine, all mine…” Naruto whined. His hands grabbed Kakashi’s shoulder, nails digging down soft, pale flesh. If the wolf could, he would have engraved the image--tanned body flushed with sweat and pleasure, arched back, gaping mouth and such loving,  _ loving  _ eyes. His cock was red, standing taught against tight abs and with each thrust it jumped off it’s owner. 

Kakashi’s movement was urgent. He almost didn’t care if he was hurting himself or Naruto in the process. He jerked his hips faster, chasing an odd sensation--a pleasure he had never known, all the while keeping his eyes firmly on the face of his  _ mate _ . Naruto’s moans were always high pitched, soul too energetic to keep mum and arms so strong that the wooden bedrest cracked. Their lovemaking--or mating activities--became rambunctious, warming the room with a deep burst of chakra and sound. 

_ Thawk. Thawk. Thawk.  _

Lips clashed, saliva dripped down clumsily, once it was clear that the end was near. The heat kept building up, blinding their eyes and ears and making the fog in front of their eyes disappear for a second--just so both of them could see. Each other.

“Kakashi…”

“Naruto,” 

Kakashi had never cummed this much, or this hard, in his entire life.

“That, was, unf…” Naruto pants, tiredly wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck. Kakashi tried not to collapse. He was out of breath himself but there was something he needed to address first. 

“Are you um...are you holding me in you?” 

Naruto blinked. “No?”

“Okay,” Kakashi jerkily nodded, “Because I think I am stuck. Inside you.” 

“Wha--” Naruto tried to pull back but immediately dropped down when it became clear that he was physically stuck to the man, ass to dick. “Ouch.” 

“Yeah…” Kakashi agreed. “I think we should call Sakura…”

“Don’t you dare,” Naruto warned. “Don’t--”

“Naruto! Damn it, The guests are already here and sensei disappeared,” Sakura’s voice boomed from the living room as she rapidly walked towards them. “You could’ve informed us that Kakashi-sensei was--HO MY GOD, SHANNARO!” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahha here is the end i guess. i am about to write a few more cracks and then jump on my angst-ty bandwagon cause wahoo...I,,,have ideas. 
> 
> anway, can yall check a poll I will be making tonight on my tumblr and vote on which fic i should write/post first after 'sunflower' ends?
> 
> Comments make my day and since im having a very hard month pls make me laugh thamsk ;]
> 
> tumblr and insta: eyethefluff  
> insta for edits: spo.cko

**Author's Note:**

> yes and welcome. 
> 
> Will post the only other chapter maybe on Sunday 
> 
> here is my tumblr if u wanna scream: eyethefluff


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